[Dead By Daylight] The Society's 4-v-1 Management Simulator

After thousands of hours of high-stakes "negotiations," the Holian Society has concluded that Dead by Daylight is not a horror game. It is the ultimate 4-v-1 Human Resources simulator.

Your job, as a revered and all-powerful "Manager" (The Killer), is to efficiently oversee four unruly subjects (we'll call them "interns," aka Survivors). These interns refuse to do their one simple task: hang on a "company-mandated motivational hook." Instead, they spend their time sabotaging company equipment (generators) and blinding you with flashlights, which is a clear violation of workplace safety protocols.

Your reward for this hard work? At the end of the shift, the interns will hold a mandatory "feedback session" (the post-game chat) to scream at you.

Why? For using "sound management strategies" that are literally in the game:

• 'Focusing on one problem employee' is called "Tunneling" and is highly offensive.

• 'Securing the work area' by standing near a hook is "Camping" and is, apparently, a war crime.

• 'Leaving an employee to bleed out' is "Slugging" and means you are a terrible, terrible person.

• Using the very tools the company (devs) gave you? That's "Sweaty" and "Toxic."

On the plus side, your roster of available "Managers" includes half of Hollywood's horror icons. The Society has spent a small fortune acquiring this Super Smash Bros. of horror. It's a glorious, fan-service buffet. Where else can you, as Pinhead, chase Nicolas Cage? Or have Chucky run circles around Ellen Ripley? Or watch Wesker throw a K-Pop star into a wall?

It's absurd, and it's the main reason we're all still here.

It is a salt-fueled, perpetually unbalanced, glorious mess where doing your job is a punishable offense. The learning curve is a cliff, and the community is a toxic waste dump. It is, therefore, the perfect Holian Society game. We fully recommend this eternal torment.

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